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About the Christian Church

Perhaps one of the most widely recognized of symbols in the world, the Crusifix has been the symbol of Christianity for many centuries. Emblazoned upon golden necklaces, earrings, bibles and other commercial items, the Crusifix is also one of the largest money-making devices in history. Its commercial appeal began in the Middle Ages, when Wealthy, Gluttonous Priests extorted money from poor pesants. By selling Crusifixes and Papal Indulgences (pieces of paper Purchased to forgive sins yet to occur), these Glorious Middle-Aged Priests solidified the Christian Monopoly on Heaven. More recently, the Church has taken steps to push the Middle Ages from the minds of the Religious.

In addition to providing Spiritual Support, the Church has maintained a strong presence in World Politics. From its condemnation of Gallileo's fallacious notion that the Earth Revolved around the Sun, to the formation of the Christian Coalition, the Church has spawned many of the most powerful political movements. Even the Glorious Crusades were initiated by the Church as a means to increase loyalty and membership.

The Christian Coalition, designed to force the Non-Christian majority of the United States to accept Christian Values, uses its Christian Affiliation to sway Church-Goers, Voters, and Consumers alike. Ralph Reed, the former Executive Director of the Christian Coalition, summed up the Christian Coalition's goal: "We will not rest until people of faith play a role in public life commensurate [equivelant] with their numbers." That is, the Coalition will not rest until Christian people take over the world, and, once in that position, Christian people have a corresponding authority. The first step of this plan, the Occupation of the United States, can be demonstrated by the Presidency. Less than %50 of the United States is Christian, yet 100% of the Presidents have been Christian.

Typical rallying procedures of the Christian Coalition include televised addresses, high-ranking Coalition Officials Running for President, and the Distribution of Christian Coalition literature after Church Mass.

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