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President Bill Clinton Supports Adultery

Washington, DC - National Rifle Association Christian Bible Choir President Joseph Brown, in addressing an assemblage of National Rifle Association Christian Bible Choir members, spoke of Bill Clinton's explicit support of adultery as an acceptable practice. "As one woman after another comes forth from the shadows of obscurity," spoke Brown, "there comes to light a more full and rounded image of our Nation's President's character. The man lies, steals, cheats, uses drugs, and adulters. Coincidence explains only so much; we have now a small army of women willing to testify against the President's philandering escapades." Shouts of support from the gathered supporters rose to greet Joseph Brown's words.

In speaking with Christian Coalition Executive Director Randy Tate, similar views were expressed. "It's not so much that [President Clinton] ever explicitly declared his support for adultery, but it should be obvious from the man's actions. We all know actions speak louder than words. The President just can't keep his pants up."

At the National Rifle Association Christian Bible Choir rally, a petition was passed around expressing the nation's dismay over the deficiency of family value in the White House. The petition aimed to speed the impeachment process. It appealed to Congress's sensibilities, and urged national representatives to begin the impeachment process.

"The President's actions disturb me on a number of levels," Joseph Brown said after the rally. "The man has a history of drug use, and his stance on sexual morality particularly disturbs me. He obviously has no respect for the sacrament of holy matrimony, and his open support of homosexuality is disturbing as well. He seems intent on creating a society where sexual morality is nonexistent, drug abuse is rampant, and crime is acceptable. He must be impeached."

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