Springfield, Ohio - Mingling with crowds of supporters today, Christian Coalition president Pat Robertson prepared himself for a speech in which he declared himself to be the reincarnation of Christ. As he moved through the out-door assembly of Christian adherants, Mr. Robertson administered blessings.

When Mr. Robertson mounted the podium to deliver a speech on Christian Brotherhood, he began instead with the greeting, "Hello my brothers and sisters. I am Jesus Christ, your Lord!"

Although Mr. Robertson's audience was initally stunned and angered, Mr. Robertson delivered an eloquent explanation of his position. Shortly, the crowd was won over and shouts of anger turned to cries of joy. "It has taken me so long to see things so clearly," Mr. Roberson continued. "But yesterday, God sopke with me and said, 'You are my son. I will call you Jesus.' From that moment on, I knew it was my duty to lead the Christian Faithful into the Kingdom of God."

Christian Coalition Executive Director Ralph Reed was quick to counter Mr. Robertson's claim. "Sometimes the beloved Mr. Robertson forgets where he is or who he is, and we just have to show him the same love and compassion we would show any other individual."

In the mean time, Mr. Robertson will continue his crowd-pleasing antics under the name of Jesus Christ. News that the president of the Christian Coalition is in fact Jesus himself has increased membership. "We are very pleased," Mr. Reed commented. "This is exactly the kind of exposure we need right now as our once-great nation continues to deteriorate morally. We need strong leaders for the Christian Majority. God bless you."